The Jar
by Adri29
Summary: Elaine gets fixed up.Jerry's pickle jar won't open.George is dragging his feet and is trying to fix his nex computer.Kramer trys to get jerry a refund on his pickle jar.


Seinfeld Episode 5-The Jar by:Adriana

George

I am hungry, lets go to Monks.

Jerry

I got no cash on me.

George

You with all the money you make have no cash on you?

Jerry

(shrugs)I haven't had an act in a long time.

Buzzer goes off

Elaine

It's me

Jerry Buzzes her in

George

Maybe I can pay for you, I got a 20 on me.

Jerry

What do you think the food I buy is crap or something? We can just eat here.I often wonder why I grocery shop,I eat out for lunch and dinner almost everyday, the only thing that I really eat when I buy it is cereal,Kramer eats most of my food anyways.

Elaine walks in

Elaine

I'm starving Jer, you got anything to eat?

Jerry

Indeed I do Laney. George and I were just discussing whether we should eat here or at Monks, and we are eating here today.

George

Ok I am going to have a sandwich.

Elaine

Make me one to, make sure to put in pickles.

George

Ah, a fellow pickle lover. You want one to Jerry?

Jerry

Sure, just put in whatever you want.

(George takes out the jar of pickles and struggles while trying to open it)

George

Damn! This thing is so hard to open.

Elaine

Let me try.

(George gives her the jar)

Elaine(while twisting the jar open)

See it's so eas---Hey why won't it open,open!open!holy crap it won't open.

Jerry

Pass it here you weaklings, your worse then Superman when he's near kryptonite!

Elaine

Fine lets see you open it.(passes Jerry the jar)

Jerry

Why won't this damn thing open?

Kramer slides in

Kramer

What's happening?

Elaine

We want to put pickles in our sandwiches and we can't open the jar.

Kramer

Let me try.

(Kramer turns red in the face trying to open the jar)

Kramer

Jerry where did you get this?

Jerry

Uh, some new place, Angelo's or something.

Kramer

Ok you're going to return this.

Jerry

Do you remember what happened with the cantaloupe?

Kramer

Don't worry jerry I will return it for you.

Scene Ends

Setting-the park

Elaine

George, do you realize you're dragging your feet?

George

And?

Elaine

Could you stop?

George

This is the way I walk.

Elaine

Well it's annoying.

George

I'm tired and I don't feel like picking up my feet.

Elaine

Oh like it's so hard to do.

George

Hey, I was up until 4:00am last night trying to fix my computer. I'm very tired.

Elaine

You have a computer?

George

Yes I do. Is that so hard to believe?

Elaine

When'd you get it?

George

I bought it from my father, he's trying the computer selling business again.

Elaine

You can afford a computer?

George

I got it for 200 bucks.

Elaine

Wow, that's a good price.

George

I paid 200 bucks for a piece of crap that doesn't work. That isn't a good price.

Elaine

I guess not(laughing)

George

Hey don't laugh at me, I'm gonna get that thing fixed.

Elaine

Ok then.

Scene Ends

Setting-Jerry's apartment

Kramer

I got you a new pickle jar!

Jerry

Thank you Kramer but you didn't have to do that.

Kramer

Yes I did buddy

Jerry

Ok whatever.

Kramer

Let me know if you need anything else.

Jerry

I will.

Exit Kramer

(Jerry tries to open the jar)

Jerry

Damn, this thing won't open

Kramer slides in

Kramer

What?

Jerry

You can hear from there?

Kramer

Give me that.(he tries to open) now Angelo gave me a refund and said he's sure this jar would open easily.

Jerry

Well Angelo was wrong. Forget the pickles Kramer, I don't need them anyways.

Kramer

No but that's not fair, he promised me. I'll get you a new one buddy.

Jerry

Again? I said I don't need pickles, I can live without pickles!

Kramer

Angelo's a nice guy, he'll get me another jar.

Jerry

Whatever, I'm meeting Elaine and George at monks, if you want to come.

Kramer

Nope, I'm heading down to Angelo's. Maybe I'll meet you at the coffee shop after I return this jar.

Jerry

All right, see you.

Scene Ends

Setting-Monks

Elaine

Another jar? I don't think you really need another jar.

Jerry

That's what I told Kramer. I'm not the one who wanted the pickles in the first place, it was you two!

George

So what, I like pickles, you got a problem with that?

Jerry

I never said that

Elaine

Don't listen to him, he's tired, he doesn't know what he's saying. He can't even walk properly.

George

Again with the dragging of, may I mention, my feet?

Elaine

Yes, no one is too tired to pick up their feet. It gets irritating hearing the "scrape, scrape, scrape, scrape."

Jerry

She's got a point.

George

I know lots of people who walk like that, it never bothered me.

Elaine

Well it bothers me.

George

Ok then, I won't drag my feet. I don't see the big deal anyways.

Jerry

(finishing his sandwich) that was one good sandwich.

Elaine

You have the same one everyday.

Scene Ends

Setting-Jerry's Apartment

Elaine

I got a date tonight.

Jerry

With who?

Elaine

I don't know.

Jerry

A fix-up?

Elaine

Yup.

Jerry

Who's the matchmaker?

Elaine

My friend, Stacey.

Jerry

Never heard of her.

Elaine

I know.

Jerry

Well good luck with tonight.

Elaine

I hope I won't need it.

Scene Ends

Setting-Angelo's Grocery Store

Kramer

Hey Angelo, this jar won't open.

Angelo

You're kidding me. This is ruining my easy opening jars policy.

Kramer

That's your policy?

Angelo

I couldn't think of anything.

Kramer

Well this is the second jar I have had to return, this is bad for your business.

Angelo

I know, I know, what do I do?

Kramer

Well we've got to find a way to get these jars open. Am I the fist customer to complain about trouble opening the jars?

Angelo

Unfortunately, no.

Kramer

Well then you've got to do something about it!

Angelo

Will you help me?

Kramer

I sure will buddy.

Scene Ends

Setting-Elaine's Date

(Elaine Is sitting at her table waiting for her date to arrive.)

Elaine

Great, he's the late type.

Man

Hello, you must be Elaine.

Elaine

And you're Steven?

Steven

Yes I am. Sorry I'm late, traffic.

Elaine

Oh I know. New York is a busy city.

Waitress

What will you two be ordering?

Steven

I will have the crab meal.

Elaine

Make that two.(staring into Stevens eyes)

Steven

How about a walk after we eat?

Elaine

Sounds great.

Scene Ends

Setting-The Costanza's house

George

Finally! I got the computer fixed!

Frank

You did? That means they work!

George

Yes it does, but I don't think you should try with the other computers again.

Frank

And why not?

George

You know how long it took me to fix this one? No one wants to buy computers that take forever to fix.

Frank

Well if you can fix this one then you can fix the rest.

George

Woah! Whoever said I was willing to do that?

Frank

I did. Get to work son.

Scene Ends

Setting-Angelo's

(Kramer and Angelo have put butter around all the jar lids in storage on the second floor of the grocery store.)

Kramer

This was a really stupid idea Angelo! You should have listened to me!

Angelo

Your idea was to put the pickles into plastic bags, but they belong in jars!

Kramer

Well now my hand are slipping! I can't even touch the jars cause my hands keep slipping off!

Angelo

It will take forever to take the butter off all the jars! Why didn't you say something earlier?

Kramer

I thought you would say something! Now look what we've done. You're going to have to sell them like this.

Angelo

But that will be bad for my business!

Kramer

Well it was just as bad for your business not having the jars open at all!

Scene Ends

Elaine

This was delicious.

Steven

I agree, so let's go for a walk and get to know each other a little better.

Elaine

Alright

(Steven pays for the bill and the two go out for a walk)

Elaine

What are you doing?

Steven

What do you mean what am I doing? I am walking.

Elaine

No but your feet, you're not picking them up, you're dragging them against the pavement.

Steven

And? That's how I always walk. No ones ever said anything to me before.

Elaine

Well it irritates me. Could you just pick up your feet?

Steven

Uh, no

Elaine

Why not? What's the big deal about picking up your feet.it's not that hard, it's probably the simplest thing you could do!

Steven

I can't believe we are even arguing about this!

Scene Ends

Setting-Angelos

Kramer

I'm going to get a glass of milk.

(Kramer goes to get the milk in the fridge beside the window, and it slipps out of his hands and the milk goes flying out the window)

Cut to Elaine and Steven—

Steven

Fine I'll pick up my feet.

(he picks up his feet and walks right onto the bag of milk Kramer dropped out the window and the milk splashes all over him.)

Elaine

(Laughing) I am so sorry!

Steven

If I was dragging my feet I wouldn't have stepped on the bag of milk!

Elaine

I said I was sorry!

Steven

This date is over.

Scene Ends

A week later

Setting-jerry's apartment

Elaine

(laughing) so he steps right onto the bag of milk!

Jerry

Ha, that's too bad.

Elaine

Yeah, so, George what's happening with those computers?

George

I sold them to some guy named Angelo, he had a grocery store business but something bad happened and now he's going into computer selling.

Jerry

Hey Angelo, that's the guy who sold me the pickles.

Elaine

Oh, I see. Maybe that's why he went out of business, you couldn't open those pickle jars.

George

All I know is it had something to do with butter.

Kramer slides in

Kramer

Hey Elaine, I'm sorry bout the milk. I had butter fingers and it slipped out of my hands.

Elaine

You're the one who dropped the milk ?

Kramer

Yeah

Elaine

I really liked that guy. I mean it was funny what happened but he was a nice guy.

Kramer

I'm sorry

Elaine

You better be.

Jerry

Isn't this so ironic, Elaine gets mad at a guy for dragging his feet, and when he doesn't things get worse. Maybe you should try dragging your feet Elaine.

Elaine

Right.

The end.


End file.
